One thing all women would love to be able to do is be ready for sex at the drop of a hat…

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if hubby could have his way with you just by whispering, “I’ll meet you you know where, to do you know what in five”. But unfortunately – we women don’t work that way.

In the article Give Your Libido a Lift by Elaine Magee (www.medicinenet.com), Elaine writes that at a glance, sex may look like a purely physical deed. Because certain people suffer from sexual dysfunction, and there are cases where a libido problem has a medical origin, it is sometimes necessary to find a body-related solution to bedroom difficulties. But it is also important to understand the link between mind, body and spirit – especially when it comes to sex. We say it all the time – your brain is your most powerful sex organ! Then why have men and women been created so differently? you ask… Men get turned on so easily, while we take longer to gain ‘momentum’. And when it comes to orgasms – it’s the same story. Why does there have to be such a difference in timing?

Believe it our not, a study carried out at the end of 2006 showed that women are just as capable of feeling sexually turned on as men! The study showed that both genders can reach peak arousal within 10 minutes. A thermal camera was used to measure the increase in temperature in subjects’ genitals while they looked at pornographic material. An increase in heat meant that there was an increase of blood flow to the genital area – a definite sign of sexual excitement. It was found that men reached a peak in 665 seconds (roughly 10 minutes), whereas women reached a peak in 743 seconds – which is a very small difference (www.newscientist.com). These findings mean that, given the right stimuli, both genders’ bodies react the same.

If only it was that simple! Because sex is such an emotionally involved issue for women, there will always be hundreds of ‘stumbling blocks’ that first need to be swept out of the way.

Although an ability to be ready for sex in just five minutes is wishful thinking for most women – these pointers might help…

1. Make contact outside of the bedroom
If you kiss each other in your thoughts the entire day… it won’t take much for you to be in the mood when the opportunity arises. Think about sex from morning to evening, and try to spot something suggestive in everything you see! Talk to your husband suggestively, or initiate seductive plans… if your head is in the right frame of mind, your body will follow – within a question of minutes!

2. Learn to breathe deeply
There are many therapists who believe that people battle with low libidos because they lead crazy, rushed lives with little time to get in touch with their mate. According to Louanne Cole Weston, a sex therapist from California, it takes time and dedication to shift our bodies from a ‘be productive’ mode to a ‘be intimate’ mentality (www.medicinenet.com). One researcher dubbed this situation ‘Hurried Woman Syndrome’ because he and countless other gynaecologists deal with woman who complain of tiredness, weight problems and dwindling libido on a daily basis. A balanced diet, cognitive behaviour therapy to help people handle stress, and even antidepressants are sometimes necessary to overcome this problem. An excellent massage from your mate is, of course, also an effective quick fix!

3. Turn the lights off
Emily Powell writes in her article Turn off the lights to get turned on (www.flathatnews.com) that it is sometimes necessary to make love in the dark. The sound of your mate’s heartbeat, his breathing, and the sweat on his back are what make sex in the dark more intense. And if you feel self-conscious about any part of your body, an absence of light may help you let go of your inhibitions a lot quicker (though it isn’t healthy to try and hide your body from your husband.)

4. Turn the lights on
For some people, the exact opposite can also be very sexy. If you are accustomed to having sex in the dark – you’ll be surprised at the effects a new experience can have on your sex life! If you are one of the couples that find it arousing to have sex with the lights on, try and introduce another element from time to time – like a mirror for an even better view!

5. Eat a peanut butter sandwich!
If you don’t have the energy for sex, it will reflect in your libido. A full stomach often leads to lethargy, but a quick protein snack might just get you in the mood. If you’re in a hurry, grab the jar and lick and suck the peanut butter off each other’s fingers.

6. Watch the clock
Don’t expect to go from ‘nah not now’ to ‘I can’t wait’ in record time after preparing a three-course meal, washing dishes and ironing your husband’s work shirt for the next day. No woman can switch her libido on at will… even if she makes a concerted effort. Don’t set sexual goals that are impossible to reach because this will only serve to discourage you. Choose a suiting time together beforehand.

7. Watch him while he washes the dishes
There are few things as sexy as a man who knows his way around a washing machine or a wok! And if he’s only wearing jeans, or an apron… all the better.

8. Wear sexy clothes and make an effort with your appearance
Even if you think he doesn’t notice that you went for a manicure yesterday, or that your eyebrows have been professionally plucked, these sorts of things will do wonders for your. Wear sexy underwear – not necessarily for him, but simply because you enjoy the sensation of beautiful lace underneath a tight-fitting shirt. If you feel sexy, getting in the mood will be a lot easier!

9. Enjoy a glass of wine… or two
Wine lower stress levels and helps you let go of inhibitions. Drinking a whole bottle on your own, may mean that you never reach the bedroom – enjoy two or three glasses to help you forget about your irritating colleague, or a looming deadline. (www.momlogicwiki.warnerbros.com)

10. Know yourself intimately
If there is something that you always think about when you near orgasm, recreate that thought and use it to work yourself up sexually, suggests Sandor Gardos, sexologist and founder of www.mypleasure.com. Men know their bodies intimately, and this is something woman can learn from!